It is at that point that my brain completely shifts gears to my family. I ponder why I have a brother living at home at 23 when he wants to be married in 6 months. Why his older brother declared bankruptcy at 19 and why my sister has such a hard time coping with life at home and in general. Then there is a moment that I feel guilty. Guilty that I made it out, away from home. That I made a good life and had a good marriage at least for a while. I have amazing children and I am good at nearly everything I do. Except despite what I want more than anything I am apparently reprehensibly terrible at relationships.
Then in a most astoundingly ADD fashion I wonder does the plant that thrives feel guilty or is that just the luck of us humans?....
Thanks for some fine (plant) food for thought.
ReplyDeleteIt all depends on your standard of measure? In your eyes the one bush is flourishing; but I’m sure if a experienced horticulturist were to look at it he would find many flaws and areas that could use some work. Just as ourselves sometimes it is easy for us to try to hide our own inadequacies and failures behind the more obvious ones of others. I believe that’s where the guilt comes from, the fact that are lying to ourselves. Only once we realize that we have all failed and fall short of the ultimate standard of measure, start to admit our inadequacies and seek help for them while giving help to those that struggle in areas that we excel in will we ever experience true joy that is independent of the happenings around us. So you may want to have a professional care for those plants of yours!
ReplyDeleteYou have let me die
ReplyDelete